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“THE ANY ASSHOLE WORKOUT”
Author: Freddy Camacho 8/07/2012 – CrossFit OneWorld Blog

“I bet more than one of you looked at this workout and thought, “Badass! I’m gonna try that!” Back in the day I worked for CrossFit HQ as a trainer/lecturer at the CrossFit Level 1 Trainer Certification. I was grateful to have several opportunities to give the Programming lecture. It was one of my favorite lectures to present.

I haven’t been to a Level 1 certification in years. I hear that the lectures are much more business like since they have to make sure they cover all the material for the written test. I probably wouldn’t be a good fit on the lecture circuit anymore (haha). When presenting the Programming lecture, there were several lecturers who talked about “The Any Asshole Workout.” Likely, the same theory is presented in different words nowadays.

The Any Asshole Workout was simple to describe. It’s one of those incredibly long workouts that has everything but the kitchen sink in it. Basically, any asshole could program it. Don’t be an asshole!!!

If you are programming for your gym, don’t do your athletes a disservice and program ridiculously long  and outrageous workouts. Think of what your goal is as a trainer programming for you gym:

1. Keep your athletes safe and as injury free as possible.
2. Teach your athletes how to move well.
3. Get your athletes better than they were yesterday.

If you really care about your athletes, you put in a lot of work trying to get them to move safely, efficiently, and better. Why ruin all your hard work and your athletes hard work/accomplishments by programming a workout that destines them to failure in epic proportions? If you put heavy/technical/long into any combination, it just becomes long, poorly performed, and unsafe. 

You can’t expect people to move well once they are at the point of exhaustion. Everything that you have taught regarding good movement is gone in a 30 minute workout. People are spending more time resting than working, and when they are working, it’s just plain bad. All this leads back to square one during their next training session. 

Whatever you do, don’t let your athletes dictate your programming. “We want a long grinder!!” There are plenty of people that like the Any Asshole Workout. They think long is extreme. Extreme is something they can brag about to their co-workers and friends. They think that sweating A LOT for 30 plus minutes means that they are obviously getting in a GREAT workout. Also, let’s not forget the number one reason people like the Any Asshole Workout. Bragging about a long workout on Facebook gets tons of LIKES, and how many Facebook LIKES you get is all that really matters in life……..

In reality, athletes would rather do a 30 minute workout than a 10 minute workout because a 30 minute workout is just plain easier to do. 30 minutes is simply tiring. 10 minutes of intensity wrecks your soul. 10 minutes is fucking UNCOMFORTABLE. It’s a place people in general do not like to go.

CrossFit is a cookie cutter fitness program. I have mentioned this before. We are taking a single strength and conditioning program and trying to make it fit everyone’s needs. There are definitely some peeps out there that don’t have a problem performing a 30+ minute workout fairly well. They will move decently through the entire workout. They won’t get hurt. Unfortunatley, the number of people who are capable of doing this is extremely small. If you have a majority of your athletes scaling the long workouts way back so they can at least attempt to perform the workout, what is the point?

Program smart. Avoid the Any Asshole Workout.”
Freddy Camacho, CrossFit One World 2012

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